A dog’s tail …
by Paul Campbell
Oh deer, Boss hasa sniffil
“Arrrggghhhh,” cried the Boss, and then again he went “Arrrrgghhh!”
Well readas, that’s a heck of a way to wake up from dreamin of chassin’ rabbits ona back paddik ofa property. I wus on me feet asn’ ready ter defend Boss frum whatever was upsettin’ him, wen I shook off me sleep an’ realised I had dropped off ona fadge ina woolshed wear Boss an’ sum mates was watching the crikit ona widescreen TV.
His gerfren’ Sharlene had tole Boss he cood stay up all night if he wanted, but he hada watch the big crickit final game wiv the poms ana blackaps game ina woolshed, so she cood sleep.
Well, there wus boss sitting wiv his hed in his hands, and I reckin he was havin’ a bit of a cry too. I give him a cold nose for comfit, an’ he give a sniff and give me a pat.
“We wus robbed Dog, we was robbed,” he snuffild.
I hada lookit the TV an’ sum bloke was saying stuff like “dreams have bin shattered” and “bluddy heartbreak.” So it seems tha kiwis lost the big werld cup game. No wunder tha Boss was spittin taks, as Sharlene wood say.
One of Bossis mates, corld Nigga was till there — the others musta gone home feelin’ sad.
“Jeez Charlie,” he sed to Boss “they shood let it be a drawer wen a crikit match boils doen ter bludy centimetas.”
Well readas, I cood tell Boss was peitty upset an’ I shot over toa homested ter see if Sharlene wus up yet. But she wus orlredy commin across the yard wiv a tray of cuppatees. She musta bin down to tha kattil stop too, cods she hada papa ona tray.
“Nah Billy,” she said, “I gota print out froma komputa ina house.” She red in her schoolteacha voice: “New Zealand’s dreams of a World Cup triumph have died in the most remarkable final in history. The Black Caps suffered defeat on boundary count after tied scores in the 50-over contest and the super over. The difference between World Cup glory and excruciating heartbreak.”
Well, I new that readas, Boss had it writtin all over with his bleary eyes.
Anyway, Sharlene give him a cuppatees ana cuddle “Off to bed deah,” she tole Boss. And she sed ter me. ”Day off fer you Billy. Boss is goin’ by-byes today.”
An’ well, someone’s big loss has a silver linin’, eh readas. A day off from stock werk for me! But don’ tell Boss I said that.
See ya … I’m off ter sleep ina sun.