A dog’s tail …

by Paul Campbell

Oh deah, wot a result

Oh readas, all was not happy ina homested last Sundee morning. Boss appeared outside me kennil with me tux for brekkie looking pritty sad. I scoffed the bikkies and just waited, an’ sure enuff, he sed “Gidday Dog.”

Well that was a start so I stuck me head on me paws an’ looked up as he sat ona woolshed steps an’ put his hed in his hands. This didn’t look too good, I thort, an’ then ‘ Sharlene came over tha yard wiv some cuppatees.

“Hare you go deah. Nice cuppa. Things will get betta for the boys.”

Then tha penny dropt readas. Boss had forgot ta pay tha Skie TV bill an’ he tole me he was gonna watch the Blidislow Cup game between the Orl Blacks an’ the Ozzies ona delayed coverage aroun’ midnight, in bed.

“Too late for ewe tho’ Dog,” he’d tole me, so I curled on me fadge an’ mist the game. Well readas, I put two an’ three togither an’ came up with bad news.

From the way Boss was, then the AB’s musta been beat by sum lucky drop goal or late try or sumthing. But No!

Sharlene give me a pat an’ sed “Billy, the boys got thrashed big time.” Well, no wunder the Boss was snifflin’ in his cupptees.

“Yep,” sed Sharlene. “Shoot downa kattil stop ata road gate an’ grab the papa Billy.” So I did, an’ had peep atta front page before I grabbed it an run back upa drive. Yikes!

Then Sharlene red in her skoolteacha voice what I saw.

“The Wallabies ran riot over the All Blacks in Perth in the 100th game against Australia. They won 47–26, the most points Australia ever scored against New Zealand.”

Then she sed some Ocker writer sed our Shag Hansin got egg on his face.

Well, that sorta woke the Boss up.

“Blimmin Ockers, nah — blimmin French ref was ter blame. Sent Barrit offa feeld ona red card wen it shooda been a warnin’.” Nah, ref probly made plinty of other misteaks too. Wait til Edin Park nek week. Ockers will be laughin ona other side of there face, eh? They neva beat us at home.

Boss slurped his cuppatee, threw me half a scone, and sed “we betta git tound the lambin’ beat. We gotta few woolies ona ground.”

“You go for it deah,” sed Sharlene. “I’ll go online and get tickits for Edin Park eh! We kin see the AB’s get there revenge.“

“I dunno about that,” seda Boss. “Betta I pay the Skie TV an’ watchit ona woolshed TV. Then if it terns to custid a second time, we kin tern it off before it gets too scary.”

Sharlene give me a smile ana pat.

“Billy, we’ll just watch this space eh?”

Yep. Roll on game too, eh readas.

Cheers, Billy