A dog’s tail …

by Paul Campbell

Rise up tha rural werkers

Well, dere readas, that was a goodly knees up for us farmers and rural werkers like me, eh? I meen that big hooley we had ata Dargy Racecourse, ana trip inta town last week. Dunno of youse saw me? I was ona back ofa Boss’s ute, wiv Boss’s gerlfrend Sharlene doin’ the drivin’, cos Boss was behind us ona tractor, an’ his sharemilka Barry frum the runoff was ona Big Red Quod.

“Tha’s a good start,” sed Sharlene, ‘cos she wus lookin’ over me head atta computa screen. “Did ya ask Boss what he thort of the big turnout?”

Just then Boss came inta tha farm office. “Yep Dog,” he sed, “yer kin put down from me that it was a reel good crowd an’ them folk ina town all give us a cheer, and sum peeple tooted horns in support of our rally.”

“Yes deah,” sed Sharlene.

“Billy and me got his kolumn all under control. Why doncha flash up the barbecue for some dinna.”

Later we was ona woolshed steps smellin’ chops and saussiges.

“Mine you,” seda Boss, “I dunno how much we gonna change the govmint policy on this climote change. That Shane Jones had nasty turn on us farmers even tho’ farmers reckin new govmint rules mite cost a hunrid dolllas a week in food costs with all the munny farmers gotta pay.”

Then Sharlene, who hada papa I brung froma kattlestop atta farm gate sed that green party rekined farmers was wrong, as she read in her skooteacha voice: “Green leader James Shaw reckons farmers could successfully adopt an environmentally friendly approach to farming.

“He said plenty of farmers across the country are transitioning to lower carbon ways of working. One of the jobs of this new law is to provide a framework about how we can share these ideas for the benefit of the entire agricultural sector.”

“Bluddy pontificatin’,” seda Boss. “We farmers not upsetting tha ‘vironment, we wanna have discussion about figures an’ costs an’ not have stuff shuved ina throats.”

That had me thinkin’ readas. I’d like ta see sumone shuv sumpin’ ina Boss’s throat. Look out fer trubble I reckin.

“Yes deah,” sed Sharlene. “Farmers are upset all round the country an’ we the driver of the economy too. Y’ad think the govmint wood wakeup.”

“Hah,” Boss mutted.

“Fat chance. See a big farm gatherin’ ona West Coast jus’ happind. Bit far ter go, but next farm rally hear, we’ gonna be there! Eh Dog?”

Where you goes Boss, I’m rite behind ya. Now, talking about things down throats. That barbie looks cooked, I reckin. C’mon Boss! Hmmm.