A dog’s tail …

Promisin’ is a lolly scrambil

“I dunno about you deah, but I reckin the country gonna be broke after the ‘lections.”

Gidday readas, that was Boss talkin’ ter his gerlfrend Sharlene after watching the ‘lection promisis all them candydates were makin’ ona Tv.

“Yep,” sed Sharlene, who got a bit of paper ana pencil an’ was writin stuff down. “So far I got that Bill Inglish down fer $7.2 billions of dollars in new spendin… and that meens it’ll cost everone ina kiwi household more than $4,000. Then Juicynda and her labour peeple reckin they gonna spind $20.4 billion — an guess wot, that meens more tha 11 grand for each household.

We won’t wurry too much about them smaller partys, but ole Winnie an’ NZ Ferst reckins he’ll spind 26.0 billion dollars in new spendin’ over the next parliamentary term. That’s blimmin more that 15 grand each house. 

“Well, ya gotta wurry eh,” seda Boss.

“Munny duzint grow on trees.” (Hey readas, I cooda tole you that. Leaves grow in trees eh?) “Yep,” sed Sharlene.

“But lookit wot Nashnil plannin’ ona roads. Gonna build bluddy roads all over tha country, in Horkes Bay, an’ Bay o’ Plinty an’ up north hear, over ten years or so.” Boss askt why that wurried her, “Look, deah,” she sed in her payshint voice. “More roads, more vehacles, more trucks, more pillushin?

More globil warming. An look wots just happind in Texis. More rain than yer kin poke a stick at, Peeple drownin, houses gone, alligaters ina lounge…” 

“Year,” sed Boss. An watabout Indya. Over ther bin more’n 1200 peeple lost there lives in floodin’.”

“Good point deah,” sed Sharlene. “Y’no wots missin in these ‘lection policys — Globil Warmin’ thats wot. Now Juicynda says she gonna make carbin emisshins a priority, an’ that globil warming is on her top list, but we not gonna no til after the ‘lection. I had look at Nashnil’s policies an’ its all about new skools, new hostibals, new roads, trayning camps fer bad kids. It’ s a blimmin lolly scambil eh? All free goodies an no futer plannin’.”

Boss sed he had to agree. “It’s a lolly scambil orl right. Tipical pollys. Give promisis like thers no termorrer. Then wen thay get in charge, they kin find a reesin not to coff up. Blame a werld economik dowtern.”

“Anyway, we will just havta sea,” sed Sharlene. “We’ll get more promisis ina nek cupple of weeks. Meenwile, ole Winnie probly come up with more brite ideas. But either way, looks like the ole fella gonna hold sway ina new govmint, if things keep goin’ ina polls like they are.”

“Yep,” sed Boss.”Meenwile, spotted a late cupple of lambs yestiday. C’mon Dog, sum things never change ona farm.”

Yep, reel work ta do. Not like blimmin’ ‘lection promisis.

Cheers readas, Billy


There are no comments on this article.

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to make a comment. Login Now